Easter's Lilly Page 46

Several months had gone by. This was by far the trial from hell. Max had left me alone again, but this time with Diego. It was as if he married me just to make sure no one else could. He was never home and I was lonely most of the time. He left early and came home late. When he came to bed at night I was usually already fast asleep. The only person I spent any time with was Diego, the children and Hector sometimes. This whole situation was terribly reminiscent of my marriage to Diego just the other way around.

  I came down the stairs after Max and Hector had left for court. Diego was cooking and it smelled enticing. I was glad to have the company. When I sat down at the counter he put a dish of eggs benedict in front of me. “My favorite,” I said as he pulled up a stool next to me.

  “I know.” He smiled warmly and I felt soothed by it. “It hasn’t been that long, you know.”

  “It’s weird,” I mentioned. “It’s like nothing ever changed. Except you are different somehow.” I was eating my breakfast a little self-consciously. He was watching me intently. “So much has happened in this house.”

  “I know,” he replied. “If only the walls could speak.” He got up and walked back to the sink. I could see he was uncomfortable. I went to the sink when I finished and handed him my plate. He took it and washed it and handed it back to me to dry. Our hands touched and I dropped the plate. He turned and looked at me. His eyes burned inside of mine. My stomach felt butterflies moving around inside of it. We were frozen for a minute. He reached over with his hand and touched my chin in such a way that my eyes locked on his. He moved closer to me and touched the sides of my face with his hands. I guess this was something that all three of them had figured out by now: My weakness. He kissed me and I melted. It felt so good to be close to someone. To be wanted again. I had no control left in my physical body. He swept me up and carried me to the couch. He laid me down and began to caress my lips with his. I could feel him unbuttoning my blouse and pulling my camisole down. His mouth was slowly moving down my body and I moaned out his name. I felt him pulling up my dress and I panicked. I slid out from under him and landed on the floor. He got up right away and put out his hand to help me to my feet.

  “What the hell was that?” I asked, taking his hand and standing up. I started refastening my clothes when we saw a car pull up. We stood motionless looking at each other. He put his finger to his lips and a soft, ‘Shhh…’ came breathlessly forth. Thankfully it was Hector by himself.

  Hector looked at me and touched my face with the back on his fingers. “Lilly, go and throw some cold water on your face.” I still stood there, looking at him curiously. “You’re flush and I don’t know how long Max will be. He can’t see you like that.” I still said nothing but ran to the bathroom to look at my face. To my surprise he didn’t start talking to him in Spanish. I suspect he didn’t want me bugging him later about what he said. “How long did it take you to get back in her pants, five minutes?” He was angry.

  “It wasn’t like that,” he said. “She stopped me.”

  “You had better not have forced her.” I could hear his gun cock.

  “Hector, please, of course not.”

  “She’s so innocent, Diego. She doesn’t understand all this stuff.”

  “I know; I took advantage. It’s not over for me. To me we’re still married. I never agreed to give her up.”

  “You and Max have got to stop playing with each other’s stuff!” I came out of the bathroom and the two of them were still arguing. “Did he force himself on you?”

  “Put the gun down Hector, it was my fault.”

  “Did you have sex?” he asked me.

  “No, no…” I looked down and noticed that my top was buttoned wrong. “Oh no,” I quickly blurted as I turned away and started to fix it.

  “You took your clothes off for him…” He was so disappointed in me. “Diego, you had better not say one word to Max. He will not come back from this.”

  “I’m not Johnny, I won’t say a word.”

  “That’s what he said,” I remembered.

  Diego touched my cheek and looked at me with intense longing. “I won’t say a word.”

  “Get out of here you Bible thumper and let me talk to her alone.” Diego grabbed his bible from the end table and walked off.

  “Hypocrite,” Hector said under his breath as he watched him disappear out the back. “Didn’t Max ever have ‘the talk’ with you, Lilly?”

  “You do know I’ve had two children, right?”

  “Lilly, you have only been with three men and they are all intimately connected. You can’t really put any of them aside because they’re always around. John is Dieguito’s father and Diego is Max’s brother. You can’t even heal with all of this going on.”

  “Heal?” I asked. “How am I supposed to do that?”

  “Once you’re intimate with someone, there are always some residual feelings left behind.” He brushed my hair out of my tear stained face.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “As time goes on the bad stuff fades and you remember the good stuff. You probably let John kiss you because you had a memory of the old days. Probably just idle curiosity. Let’s not forget that you were living together for seven months pretending to be husband and wife. He was there when Chris was born…” He paused. “I think that’s enough to justify your actions.” I rolled my eyes. I could see they were never going to believe I rejected him outright. “Diego,” he continued. “Far stronger feelings. He gave you your first…” He looked down. I could tell he was a little embarrassed.

  “Yeah, yeah,” I said. “I know what he gave me.”

  “Anyway, you probably remember that fondly. Since he’s so different now, you probably are focused on that.”

  “Hector, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I love Max so completely.” I looked away. “Damn it, why am I so weak?”

  “I’m telling you, you are still very connected to all three of them. It will be hard for you to really separate. Besides, Max is always leaving you alone with them. You don’t do alone very well.”

  I grabbed his hands and started to tear up. “I’m just so lonely. It feels so good to be with a man. To be touched and wanted.” I put his hands to my face. “Please, please don’t tell Max.”

  He released my hands and said, “I’ll take it to my grave and you do the same. Don’t ease your guilt by telling him. He flipped out over a kiss. What do you think he will say about all this?” He motioned with his hand to my top. I turned away out of total humiliation. “Do not have an affair with him, Lilly. You won’t be able to come back from that.”

  “Do you think Diego will…”

  He interrupted me, “No, he really doesn’t think he did anything wrong. He thinks Max came and took you from him. He still feels like you’re his. Besides, it is so cut and dry sibling rivalry. If he tells Max he spoils the game.”

  “Does Max have residual feelings for his old lovers? Do you?” I didn’t know anything about Max’s sexual past and that bothered me.

  “I know I’ll get in trouble for this but look at Max and the judge and Max and Vanessa.”

  “I knew it!” I said. “I knew Vanessa was that angry because he had a personal relationship with her. And the judge… I had my suspicions.”

  “Since he blatantly lied to you about it, I’m not going to run to him with this. Plus, you are so naive, I find it hard to blame you.” He re-took my hand. “I am a little hurt though.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “I really thought you’d turn to me before going back to Diego.”

  “Shut up!” I said. “Give it a rest. I said you had a nice chest, get over it already.”

  He laughed. “Remember Lilly, he’s not the good one here. He’s the monster with the fangs that you ran for your life from. Always remember that when he’s piling on the charm.”

  “You didn’t finish answering my question.”

  “Let’s walk and talk,” he said. “Max will be home soon.” He took my hand and we started wal
king towards the creek. “The judge obviously had fond memories of her affair with Max and if he pursued it, she would probably respond. Sound familiar?” I looked at the ground. “Vanessa was steaming mad that he slept with her and dumped her. That’s what he did back then.” We could see the creek coming up in the clearing and Diego reading his bible on the rocks. “She was still harboring feelings for him. As for me…” He laughed. “My last lover is dead. I never see the ones I had before her. There are some in Mexico, and some here but I make a point to not keep in touch. It’s easier to move on that way.”

  “Were you a playboy too?” I asked.

  He smiled. His face flushed a little. “Not as bad as Max but maybe some. Time to settle down though. Can’t be single while Max is all happy and settled. He is happy and settled, right?”

  “Oh God yes,” I answered. “I have to get control of myself.” We were getting closer to Diego. “It’s so weird. He looks good and smells so good. I just don’t remember all that.”

  “Lilly, you went from Diego’s bed to Max’s bed and then back to Diego’s again for months. Just like now, your husband worked and the brother stayed home and played house with the wife. For you nothing much has changed. I’m really not very surprised at your behavior. That’s kind of why I came home first.” Hector approached Diego and he closed his book. “Thou shalt not commit adultery… sound familiar?”

  “In my head, she is still my wife.” He was very serious about that. “I never agreed to a divorce. It was Max’s… friend, who granted it you know. I should appeal it.”

  “Don’t even think about it, Diego. She’s happy where she is. You should have explained all this…” he paused searching for the right word, “stuff to her. She doesn’t understand. She’s only been with the three of you and you all know each other.”

  “I’m not that innocent Hector. You make me sound so virginal.”

  “You are to us,” Diego agreed. “He’s right, I shouldn’t touch you like that.” When he said that my stomach swooned and my knees went weak and Hector reached out and grabbed me.

  “Oh this isn’t good.” He looked at Diego. In a very soft voice as he looked around he said, “You have to keep this quiet. Please, Diego.”

  “If I tell him, he’ll just take her away. I won’t say a word.”

  “It is so funny how you have switched places. It is even funnier how the two of you say the exact same things in the other’s shoes.” Diego made a face. “She’s young, confused and not quite over you. Let her be, at least for now.”

  Diego said nothing but looked at me. He reached his hand up and then put it down immediately. We looked up and saw Max approaching. I wondered if he saw that.

  “Prayer meeting and I wasn’t invited?” he asked in his usual fashion.

  “Just taking a walk,” Hector lied. “How’d it go?”

  “One more day for me, two for you and our Diego is the finale.”

  “Good, cause I’m sick of keeping an eye on him.”

  “Come on Hector, I think the new Diego is kind of charming.” Max smiled but Hector just passed me a look.

  “Max, Lilly was just telling me how much she missed you today.”

  “Really?” Max asked sarcastically.

  “Yes,” I quickly agreed. “I really did.”

  “Well, let me see what I can do about that.” He took my hand and we walked away.

  “Hector wants to be alone with Diego? Why? What’s going on?”

  “I don’t know,” I lied. “You know Hector. He always has his own agendas.”

  “Something feels weird,” he said. “And why are your hands so sweaty?”

  “I told you already, I missed you.” He stopped walking for a minute and I got scared. He grabbed my face and kissed me. I almost went limp in his arms. “Good,” he said. “Just checking.”

  He was way too instinctive for me to pull anything over on him. I had to make sure I watched my step until Diego was finally gone.

  The next day was more of the same: Max and Hector gone, Diego and I alone. I came in for breakfast and he made me scrambled eggs and tortillas. He put them down in front of me and said not a word. We ate in silence, washed dishes together and I left to the back porch as quickly as possible. I took my coffee with me and sat on the swing we had out there. The boys were both still sleeping upstairs. Diego came out and sat beside me. “Are you doing okay this morning?”

  “No,” I said. “I feel awful for lying to Max like that.”

  “You can’t tell him, he’ll go ballistic.”

  “I know, believe me. He went crazy over Johnny. You… I can’t chance it.”

  “Why Johnny?” he asked. “Why would you kiss him?”

  “For the last time, I didn’t kiss him!” I shouted. “He kissed me and I slapped him. I love how no one talks about the slap.”

  “Johnny came to see me to tell me all about it in the hospital. I kind of wish I could give him a call right now.”

  “Don’t you dare,” and I slapped him in the shoulder playfully. He laughed.

  “I wouldn’t. Why should I?”

  “Max would leave me for sure,” I said. “That’s why.”

  “Hmmm…” he said thoughtfully. “I don’t want you that way. I want you to come to me.” I rolled my eyes.

  “I’m not going to come to you. We can be friends though. You know, that’s how Max and I started. We were friends for years before we heated things up.”

  “I guess you’re right,” he said. “Besides, Hector thinks I’m taking advantage of your naiveté. If you decide you want me, I don’t want there to be any doubts.”

  “Hector thinks it’s some kind of habit or something,” I said.

  “Probably something like that,” he agreed. “More like a familiar body. A familiar place. A familiar touch.” He reached for my face and then changed his mind. “What’s up with you and Hector, anyway?”

  “Hector and me?” I asked in surprise. “Why would you even say that?”

  “I don’t know. You hold hands a lot, like you used to do inappropriately with Max.”

  I laughed. “It’s not that way.”

  “He seems very protective.”

  “Yes, that he is,” I answered.

  He moved his face closer to mine and I stood up. “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “You are still my wife to me,” he answered.

  “I thought we agreed, Diego,” I said. “Friends.”

  “You can’t blame a guy for trying.” He smiled and took my hand. I pulled away. He stood up and pulled me close to him. I could feel his breath on my face.

  “No, Diego, we can’t!” I was starting to get nervous and my stomach started to churn. He let me go and I hurried back into the house. I was breathless by the time I ran into Hector. I smacked right into his chest, without seeing him there, and almost hurt myself.

  “Where’s the fire?” he asked.

  “No fire,” I answered. “Just not feeling so well, that’s all.” I pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge. I was sure my face was flush.”

  “Pregnant?” he asked. “Do we need another test?”

  “No, stop it.”

  “Max is staying home tomorrow. No more games.” He was still scolding me like a little girl caught with her boyfriend in the back seat of daddy’s car.

  Diego came into the kitchen. “You’re really something.” Hector eyed him. “I should have shot you when I had the chance.”

  “I’ll be gone in a few days,” he said. “Then this will all be over.” He laughed.

  “What’s so funny?” Hector asked.

  “I think she kind of likes you.” Hector laughed hard.

  “We already know she thinks I’m pretty,” he continued.

  “Would you cut it out,” I said. “You’re worse than Max sometimes.”

  I still love her,” Diego interrupted. He grabbed my hand and I pulled it away.

  “I have to ask.” Hector got very stern. “If she does give in,” Hector
looked at me, “and she won’t, are you going to tell Max and leave.”

  “Stay and fight.” he said with brazen authority. “I think I can win this time.”

  “Damn it Diego, leave her alone.” Hector grabbed my arm and walked me out the door. “Walk it off Lilly.”

  “I don’t need to walk anything off,” I said in an irritated tone trying to free my arm from his grip.

  “Is Max not doing it for you anymore. Because if you’re bored, you need to tell him. It won’t hurt his feelings, he’ll just pick up the pace a little.”

  “I’m not bored.”

  “Remember I told you that I was your safest relationship right now?”

  “Yes,” I answered.

  “Don’t push it. If I tell him you’re fooling around with Diego he will kill one of you. I’m not quite sure which one.”

  “I’m not fooling around,” I insisted. “I resisted this time. I did!”

  He smiled. “Okay, I believe you.” Then he stopped walking, looked at me thoughtfully and hugged me. “You’re very special to me, you know.”

  “I know,” I said. “Hector, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  “Really girl, behave.” I knew he was right. Maybe this was just too familiar. Maybe we needed to move out of here. Why did their father have to leave them this monster of a house? Am I always attracted to the brother I don’t have? What was wrong with me?”

  He started walking again. “Where are we going?” I asked.

  He slowed his pace down. “I was just taking you for a walk. That’s all.” We got to the creek and he walked me into the bushes where Jorge, Diego and Hector found Max and me making love. “Do you remember this spot?” he asked.

  “Of course.” I bent down and touched the grass. Then I sat down and he sat down beside me.

  “You were desperately clinging to each other. After we caught you, you almost had a nervous breakdown. Max calmed you, do you remember?”

  “Yes,” I answered. “Is that what’s happening now, Lilly? Are we losing you again? Is being here too much for you?”

  I started crying and lay down in the grass. Hector lay down next to me and hugged me. “This is the kind of thing I can’t tell Max, so I have to try to help you myself. Tell me what to do.”

  “I can’t do this anymore,” I said. “You’re right. It’s too much of the same too soon.”

  “I’ll make you a deal Lilly.” He pulled his arms tightly around my waist. “Promise me you will not allow yourself to be alone with Diego. Stay with one of us. Maybe we should tell Max.”

  “No!” I rolled over and looked him in the face. He looked at me helplessly. “No! He won’t forgive me. I know he won’t forgive me.”

  “If I catch you with him again, I have to tell Max.” He pulled me close to him again and I put my head on his chest. “I can’t watch you have an affair and say nothing.”

  “I know,” I said. We looked up and Max was standing over us. Hector let go quickly and I sat up.

  “No way!” he said. “Hector, this is not happening.”

  “No, it’s not,” I said. “I was having one of my melt downs. He was trying to calm me like you do, that’s all.”

  “I swear, bro. I would never touch her. Not like that.”

  “What’s going on Lilly? I knew something wasn’t right.” I swallowed hard. My hands were shaking. I suddenly blanked. My brain went numb. I knew I had lost it all.

  “Being here… with him.” Hector paused. “It is too much for her, Max. He’s constantly hitting on her. Can you make sure you’re with her all day tomorrow? Just take a day. I’ll testify tomorrow. You and Lilly take a day.”

  “I can’t leave Diego alone. He could bolt.”

  “I’ll take him with me. Just take a day.”

  He reached for my hand and helped me stand up. “I am so sorry querida. He’s so right, I’ve neglected you.”

  “Max this is my fault. Everything is all messed up in my head.”

  “He didn’t…” He stopped before he said it. “Did he…?”

  “No, no…” I interrupted. “I’m just getting confused again.”

  He hugged me and kissed my cheek. He looked at Hector and I knew he wasn’t going to let it go. Hector stood up. “You believe me, right?”

  “Yes,” Max said. “I believe that you’re not having an affair with my wife.”

  “She isn’t having an affair, Max. She’s just uncomfortable.”

  “Lilly, you need to communicate with me, or I can’t help.” By this point I was sobbing. Max was holding me and I could feel his eyes on Hector. He pulled me back and put his fingers under my chin. I was facing him, tears and all. “Whatever is happening,” he looked over at Hector, “we can get through it. Maybe Hector’s right. This is too close to our old life. Too close to the times you broke down before. Too close.”

  CHAPTER 30

  Diego gasped. I don’t think he was expecting that.