Easter's Lilly Read online

I did what I was told and climbed into the bed. I was tired of being tired and tired of missing Max. John took my hand and leaned into me so that no one else would hear. “I know I’m not him. But I will be here for you just like he was when it was my baby.”

  “I loved him then,” I cried. “Even back then.”

  “I know,” he replied. “Call me Max if you need to. I’ll be right here holding your hand.”

  I smiled. “Like I’m going to call you by his name.” He smiled back. “Ever.”

  “Okay, okay,” he said. “I get it. The most important rule.” I laughed a little. “A smile?” He put his hand on my cheek. “I always thought you were beautiful when you smiled.”

  I laid back and he pretended to be my husband. It was hard but the baby came screaming into the world just like Dieguito did. “I think we should name him Johnny,” he said. “It’s only fair.” I laughed. I was exhausted. They put the baby into my arms and I looked at his tiny little blue eyes. He had a full head of golden hair. There was no doubt… he belonged to Max. “Well?” John asked. “What’s it gonna be?”

  “Max was very specific on not naming the baby after himself. He said it gets too confusing.”

  “What was Max’s father’s name?” John asked me. I laughed at that.

  “Diego,” I answered.

  “Next…” he said.

  “I would name him Hector but it would still be too confusing, being that we see him all the time,” I continued.

  “Why don’t you put Max in the middle?” he suggested. “Like…” he took a moment to think it through. “Like Michael Maxwell.”

  “I am not naming the baby after my dad.”

  “Think about names that you like,” he said. “I know this is hard without Maxwell.” He paused. “But I’m sure you’ve been thinking about names for a while now.”

  “How about Christian Maxwell Montiago?” I said. “We’ll call him Chris for short.

  “That is a perfect name,” he agreed. “May I hold him?” I put the baby in his arms and he smiled at him as though it was his own. The nurse came in and asked if I would like to nurse him. “Yes,” I answered. “As soon as possible.” John sat in a chair in the side of the room while I was trying to latch the baby’s little mouth onto my breast. “Cut that out!” I said to John, watching him watch me.

  “I missed it all the first time around,” he said. “Please don’t take this away from me.” So, I didn’t say a word and let him watch me nurse Christian. There was a huge hole in my heart as I fed Max’s newborn. I didn’t know if he was dead or alive and I was desperate for him to see the miniature Max in my arms. “It’s weird how much he looks like him,” John smiled.

  “Dieguito looks very much like you,” I replied.

  “Not that much,” he said. “Diego will know right away that this is not his baby.”

  “Yes, I supposed he will,” I answered. “But they are brothers. There could always be a resemblance.” He sat there contently watching me. It felt a little wrong. When the baby fell asleep, John took him and laid him down in the tiny bassinet they had for him while I closed up shop. He was still watching me.

  “I am so sorry he’s missing this,” he said again. “I’m so sorry I missed this the first time.” He sat down beside me and took my hand. Then he leaned in and kissed my lips. It was gentle and it was short. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I won’t do that again.” I was too tired to argue. I laid my head on the pillow and the next thing I knew it was morning.

  Johnny was running in the room as soon as visiting hours began. He was as excited as if it were Dieguito’s birth. He had flowers and a teddy bear. I laughed. “You know this is Max’s baby, right?”

  “You know you’re Jane Smith, right?” was his response. I had forgotten that.

  “Just doing a quick reality check,” I replied. “I know I need those from time to time.”

  “I know who’s who,” he answered. “I can enjoy my time as your husband if I want to.”

  “I guess you may as well,” I answered putting my arms out for the baby. Little Dieguito climbed into the bed with me as I nursed Chris. John finally picked him up and sat him in a chair with a video game. “Making sure your view is not obstructed?” I asked sarcastically.

  “Stop being so mean to me,” he said. “I’m happy, let me be happy.”

  “You know they are freeing me today,” I said, avoiding the very uncomfortable situation that was happening here. Johnny was falling back in love with me. And I missed Max so much that I couldn’t breathe.

  “I heard,” he said. “I can’t wait to get you home so I can pamper you.”

  “Don’t go out of your way, John.” I was starting to get a little nervous.

  He sat down beside me and took my hand. “I want you to be happy too.”

  They discharged me and John and Dieguito got me all set up on the couch. The FBI got me a bassinet for the baby with wheels so that he could follow me from room to room. We were the perfect little family except for the fact that we weren’t.